The Art of Gathering
Priya Parker
Parker, P. (2018) The Art of Gathering. London: Penguin Random House.
(Parker, 2018)
- Negative Feelings and Subjects
‘Integration of the Shadow’
p.214
‘Darkness of better inside the tent than outside of it… It’s going to be at your gathering. And if you bar it from formal proceedings, it doesn’t disappear.’
p.215
A chance to consider what is not uplifting but thought and heart provoking.
p.213
- Seeing and Presence
Connecting people through ‘helping your guests see and be seen by each other’
Zulu greeting:
‘I see you’
‘I am here’
p.183
Prizing experience over ideas
Being vulnerable yourself
- Purpose and Need
‘When we meet we often make the mistake of conflating category with purpose.’
p.4
Need
p.23
Outcome not Process
- Generous Authority
‘A gathering run on generous authority is run with a strong and confident hand, but it is run selflessly for the sake of others.’
p.81
‘Sometimes generous authority demands a willingness to be disliked in order to make your guests have the best experience of your gathering.’
p.81
Protect
Equalize
Connect
pp.83-94
- Enforcement
‘It isn’t enough just to set a purpose, direction, and ground rules. All these things require enforcement.’
p.77
- Vulnerability, Sharing, Connection
Being vulnerable with people makes them feel for you
p.207
- Authenticity built through experience
‘Push for people’s experiences over their ideas.’
p.210
- Sharing yourself
‘You need to show them how.’
‘Show the kind of self that I am asking them to show me.’
p.222
- Controversy
Good controversy can make a gathering matter.
p.225
mistaken elevation of harmony
p.227
Controversy is generative rather than preservationist.’
p.233
Controversy arises from what we care enough to argue over, most gathering are marred either by unhealthy peace or by unhealthy heat.
pp.233-234
Moving implicit to explicit and remove from other spaces
pp.234-235